Quote of the day...& maybe a little hope.

Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958)

It's been so long since I last posted a quote of the day, when I found this I had to put it up. It's a pretty simple thing isn't it? If you can imagine it, you can make it so. The only limit is what we can imagine. So what's the big deal about it?

I've found myself thinking a lot lately about the state of things around me and in our world. I mean of course I have right, the economy is tanking, politics has become little more than a dog and pony show and we face things like peak oil, GMO foods etc. etc. Of course I've been thinking about it; I know you have too. So think about what you imagine for the future. Think about the first thoughts that come to your mind. What is it? Do you picture a world of peace and prosperity? Healthy cities with a renewed connection to community and the land? New economies spurred to growth through the joining of necessity, creativity and common sense oversight? Maybe you do, I try to. However, more often than not lately, I find myself imagining a world with more wars over energy or to prop up a staggering economy, unhealthy cities where everyone looks out for themselves and worries about the neighbor cheating them, and a slowly fizzling economy struggling to hold onto it's once top place on the world stage like a too-old prom queen who refuses to grow up.

My point is if we can only imagine the worst, then that is in effect the limit of our hope for the future. How do you get somewhere you can't even imagine exists? But what if we imagine the former? Peace, community, prosperity; couldn't we make them real things? I'm tired of imagining the worst. I want more for my family, I want more for my city and I want more for myself. I want to see these things come to fruition. I will imagine the best for the world and I'll do my part when I can to nudge it on it's way. I hope you'll look at your imaginations of the future and see how you've allowed yourself to dream of the days to come. Picture the change you want to see. Believe that the change will come and expect it any day.

We owe it to ourselves.
Namaste
P~

Feeling the BURN

There are a few blogs that I read regularly. I read them for various reasons, from the witty way that the author writes about everyday events to the eye opening information on current events or for inspiration and encouragement with some of the things that I try to do that they've already conquered. These blogs are important to me. Many of the authors have become friends in a sort of profound way that I never would have thought possible. So, imagine my dismay when I hear them tell me how they are getting disillusioned with the whole blogging thing or that they're just plain burning out? And it's not just one or two, I've seen a lot of this lately. How could this happen? Many of the writers I frequent write about simple living. How could we be burning out with that?

A blogger that I truly respect and I were talking about their impending burnout just today as a matter of fact. The thing is, the same things that this person shared with me that seem to be causing a bit of "pressure" for them, are things that to some degree I've felt too. So it occurred to me, how many other bloggers feel the same thing; or for that matter will at some point down the road? Part of the pressure that this person is feeling comes from the same thing that makes them such a popular blogger in the first place, their giving nature. I think that it's a part of many, if not all, of us that choose to share of ourselves through this forum. Of course we do it for our own reasons, but over time doesn't it start to feel like we have a certain obligation to the readers we have that regularly take their time to read what we have to say. I feel it. Sometimes I just feel terrible that I don't have the time to write a personal little reply to every comment that I get. Compound that now with the fact that as bloggers, we begin to feel a part of a certain "community" online. We value the interaction we have with other bloggers and readers, and so can begin to feel obligated to be a good reader of the many other bloggers that stop by our sites. Now we've not only put ourselves in the place of feeling obligated to interact with our readers but to in turn be dutiful readers ourselves on top of maintaining our own blogs, blogs based to a great extent on our families and our gardens and generally all the things that we do over and above the normal duties of maintaining a home. So there in lies the quandary, to blog about life, or live to blog.

How often do you find yourself saying " hold on a second sweetie..." to your little ones because you're trying to "catch up" on your writing, commenting or reading? Where is your "line in the sand"? Do you have one for that matter? I had this problem early on in my evolution in this blogging experiment and through it have found a certain balance. That's not to say that I don't get out of whack once and a while, but generally I have found a couple of "rules" that I stick to and it keeps me in line. For one thing, I blog at night. Usually between 11 and 1 or 2 am. The reason for that is because it's my technique for dealing with priorities. My kids and wife are the most important things to me. The blog gets ignored during the day (with few exceptions) because that is "family time". In the evening time, kids go to bed and that's A~ and P~ time. A~ needs her sleep far more than I so after she settles for the night, I blog, comment, surf. As I said, often times I am up till about 12:30- 1:30, but I'd be up till then anyway so I re-allocate the time to the computer. It limits the intrusion to my life and allows me to focus without distraction. Some days I'm tired and I just forgo it, other times we have something else we're doing and I skip it. That's my biggest line in the sand, computer time is at night when life's obligations are met and takes backseat to family needs at all times. I try to have my biggest technical impact throughout the day be taking photos, that's it.

I don't have the opportunity to comment on others blogs very often either and sometimes feel a bit guilty. I probably don't get as many readers because of it but I can enjoy life, work in my garden, and help out in my neighborhood and I guess in the end those are the things that will bring me more happiness than spending all day chasing readers I'll never meet or otherwise meeting my need to "be there" for everyone else. I've also had an internal struggle about wanting to have a simple life, and trying to reconcile cramming that life so full of "wants" that I lose focus on the simple part. I'd like to work for myself, I want to find a bigger piece of land that I can work, I want to start a community garden, I want to help teach others all the things I've learned through my efforts and research. All noble pursuits I think, but they won't love me when I'm sick or visit me when I'm old? So in the mean time I plan and hope and enjoy what I have right now. Those things will come, I have faith. I'm only 37 right now, and my youngest is 11 so I'll have plenty of time to do things later when they're grown.

I know I'm going on and on now, but I have one final bit to pass on. When I first started blogging I would get so excited about all of the Meme things that get passed around and the great and inspirational challenges that so many people sponsor. At some point I decided two things. 1) Most of these memes are little more than thinly veiled attempts to get people to visit the originators site (my opinion) and require that we read a lot of other blogs just so we have a go to list of good blogs to refer to. Most of us have a favorite links section, to me, that is my permanent meme list. I like them, I read them and I leave it at that. 2) Every challenge I would participate in would end up making me feel obligated to keeping up with it, which would eventually lead to my feeling inadequate at it, purely for lack of time. Any more, I am always honored to receive recognition from others, and am inspired by the challenges out there, but the memes die with me, and I generally don't pledge to post on any challenge, whether I participate or not. So if you've ever nominated me for a meme that I didn't reply to, or wondered why I don't participate in any of the challenges...there you go. Self preservation!

So, what do you have to add? What do you do to "time manage" all the irons that we have in the fire? Where's your line in the sand? I know a lot of my readers blog as well so I'm putting you on the hook (not that you have to be a blogger to chime in). Who knows, maybe the solutions we can share will help to keep some of our favorite reads around a little longer.

Blog atcha later!

P~

You're a LIAR and a FOOL ... now, let's change the world.

Not really the best way to go about things is it? Supposing you and I were both after the same job; and say you and I argue for, let’s say a year and a half. We call each other liars, talk about how bad the other person would make things, explain why we are right and people ought to listen to OUR point of view and go to great lengths to point out to the world every stupid thing the other has ever said or done. The longer it goes on, the more our friends and allies start to polarize against each other because, now they think to themselves, “Geez, I thought that person was so smart, but they want THAT person to lead the way?” and quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, they start to bicker about things too. Then one day… *POOF*… argument settled! It’s been decided that one of us is the one that is going to lead the way and make the big decisions. Now let’s all come together and sing coombayah, and make the world a better place. What? You’re not still angry about all that “…you lied and you’ll ruin the world..” stuff are you? Come on, we have serious work to do here.
Well, that’s pretty much politics as usual and I’m sorry (not really), but I’m just not going to be a part of it. As I’ve spent a little of my precious time over the last couple of weeks watching and listening to the presidential convention speeches, I’ve thought a couple of times about making a post about one thing or another; I’ve heard things from both candidates that I’ve agreed with to a great extent. My issue with the whole process and particularly how it relates to my blog, is this. I have a pseudo mission statement for this blog that's been pretty plainly laid out in a few of the posts throughout it’s time online and is very succinctly stated in the title itself. “Possibility to Reality”. I spent a good number of years arguing about policies and politics and guess what? It really didn't change the country, and most certainly DID change me. The more I concentrated on what my position was on things, and even more so on why the people that had the opposing position were wrong, the more and more unhappier I became. Have you ever noticed that, regardless of what a candidate actually does once their elected, voters tend to be more apt to get out and vote FOR something, rather than AGAINST something. In other words, no matter how much one candidate tends to point out how bad the other person is, if they don't actually stand for something specific themselves, they generally lose. Why? Because I think people naturally want to think positively of things. They want to be a part of the future and a part of something greater than themselves.

My concern is this. If we buy into the partisanship that's peddled to us through all of the standard media outlets. If we just re wrap articles from the Times or Tribunes of the world filtered by our particular biases (whatever they are we can substantiate them, trust me!) and further perpetuate the divisions of our country, then we do a disservice, not only to ourselves and our readers, but an even greater disservice to our country and our future as a whole.

We, I believe, stand at a crossroads. We are at a time when not only are we facing economic woes or the possibility of peak oil and climate change, we have wars and power plays taking place in many places at once. We have a bankruptcy of not only capitol but of morality and self control and a culture of self gratification that demands more for less at a moments notice. These are things that are changing. Things that MUST change. Things that our government, regardless of who's elected, will not be able to change on it's own. They more than likely will not even consider that many of the problems need changing. So we need to come together and lead. To show our elected officials that they need to come together to make the big changes as well. How are they to do that, how are we to do that, if we have been trained to point at how wrong the other side is and vote solely on "party lines". In that case, we are too busy looking at the splinter in our neighbors eye than at the log in our own.

I've read a few other blogs this last week that I feel got a bit mired in this kind of partisanship. Some are ones that I read regularly, others are ones I visit only occasionally. I don't think less of any of them, I understand their passion for these things and for the changes that they hope for. I just hope that we in this "new media", with our overwhelming freedom to offer suggestions and solutions and our ability to lead the way to these changes through our own example, will look not to furthering the divisions in our greatest nation, but to healing them. I ask you to find the possible. Find it, embrace it, share it and make it the reality. We can do it!

Namaste...

P~

Content.

I have to, from time to time, put down for the record the way that I am feeling at a particular point. If for no other reason than because not only is the purpose of this blog to share information and ideas about a different way of living, it's also a place for me to put down how I feel about life and where I stand in it.

This evening, after another long weekend getting things done around the house, experimenting with new things, playing games with my kids and working shoulder to shoulder with my wife to preserve food for our future, I felt content. As I lay down tonight, tired and a little sore, I lay next to the love of my life. Our kids sleep soundly in the next room after a good weekend of playing and working to help around the house. Our freezer is filling, as is the pantry, and our garden is yielding its end of-the-summer harvests while its fall growth begins. I have a good job that, while it may not be my life's dream, is stable and with people I truly like to be around. I am, in a word, content.

As I've said before, the choices that A~ and I have made to change the way we go through life, have been made to be simple, not necessarily easy. But that said, it consistently amazes me how happy I can be, even working harder than most in our neighborhood, by doing these simple things. I guess it's the less is more thing? Do you get this feeling too? Do you feel content, if not fulfilled? Do your aches bug you a little less because you know they are for a greater purpose? I hope so. If I can give one piece of advice it would be to do the things that make you feel comfortable, content, in tune with your world. I think there's a lot to be found in that.
Namaste All
P~

Beauty in the garden

It does truly abound there doesn't it? I sometimes wonder how anyone, and we all know them, can not like to spend time out in a garden? Whether that be a flower garden, vegetable garden, container or water garden. I get such pleasure and relaxation from just wondering around the yard and finding what it holds for me that day. I took these pictures last week and have been wanting to get them up online. I hope you enjoy!

This baby is my pride and joy as far as flowers are concerned. I call it snow white. It's a columbine that I picked up four years ago at one of the local stores, Wal-mart, Home Depot wherever. It has come back every year without fail and as you may be able to tell from the picture below, has grown bigger every year.
As I think about it now, I should have placed an object in the picture with it to give an idea of how big it is. The head of flowers on this plant is probably near to a foot and a half wide; quite big for a columbine. I let the heads go to seed every year and I think it's just multiplying on itself. The flowers are huge too, almost three inches across. I've been thinking of seed saving from this plant this year. Anyone interested in trying some out?
Here is a volunteer from a snapdragon that I allowed to seed last year. I've talked about this before, and I'll do it again. It is a great boon to me to be able to almost count on the "free" plants that we get every year because we let a few heads of flowers go to seed. Plus, I love finding out where they will pop up the next spring. It's like Easter egg hunting for flowers.
I thought you all might like this. We've been having a couple of Robins visit us almost daily lately. The bird bath in the corner has become a regular stop on their way through the neighborhood. Those are strawberries growing through the "urbanite". They're just turning ripe now, and every day or so I'll find one of them with a couple of nibbles in it. I've taken to calling it the "Robins Share", sort of like the "Angels Share" in whiskey making. Maybe the Robins will be nice and leave the big strawberry patch on the other side of the yard for me. (Just in case it's been netted.)
This little guy took himself an nice cool bath, and then jumped next door to our apple tree for a little grooming.
Oops, I'm caught, he saw me. Oh well, he'll be back. The lure of the bath and dine Strawberry spa is just too great!
P~

Cycles

Spring is coming, or it's here, depending on your perspective. I guess it's kind of a glass half full / half empty kind of thing. Any way you look at it, things are changing.

To the left is a sorry looking dead bunch of sticks that was once a very full and very pretty snapdragon. Why is it still in the yard? Because those pretty flowers, when not dead headed toward the end of the year, will dry up and do their natural thing; go to seed and propagate. In fact this particular snapdragon is the second generation as it is. In fact there's another one just around the corner where we had never planted a snapdragon before.

Here's another favorite waking up for the season. Can you name it? Did you guess Honeysuckle? Before long, the kids will be sitting on the porch swing, sucking on fistfulls of these and leaving Mom and Dad to sweep em up, can't say I blame them though, (or that they're the only ones to ever do it.)

Here we have another little volunteer. This is a columbine that we planted our first summer here, three years ago. This flower has only one flush of blooms each season and after every one I let the plant go to seed. It's not the most attractive thing in the world I guess, but it's the cycle of things. It's the way it's meant to be.

And last but not least, everyone has their favorites, and here's one of mine, Daffodils. I can't help it, ever since I saw that kid having tea from a tulip and then eat it on "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", I've loved em. They come up early every year, give us a big ole splash of color and, well heck they just make me smile.

It's fun to watch the cycles come around. Enjoy this time, it is fleeting and before long it'll be full blown summer, and though that brings many gifts of it's own, there's just something special about Spring.

Happy Blogiversary. (1 year)

One year ago today I decided to convert what was basically a practice blog on myspace to a full fledged, as often as I can post, blog. I guess I didn't realize how much I would enjoy it, but I do a great deal. I look forward every day to checking in to see who came to visit and where in the world from. I get such a kick out of all of the comments and input that I am blessed to receive from all of you.

I didn't plan a specific identity for this blog, and really didn't have too much direction in mind for it other than the fact that I wanted to make a concerted effort to focus on all of the positive things in my life, and in the world around me. As I did this, it was like a sea change in myself. One thing led to another, one change compounded onto another. The journey was on, and so it goes today.

Today, I look at almost everything I do in a new perspective; a writers perspective. When I take on a new challenge, I want to share it with others; not just to document my life, but hopefully to inspire or instruct. I sometimes get an almost guilty feeling when I know I haven't posted anything for a couple of days, because I've been either busy or just have nothing to say, and I know the same people have checked in a couple of times. I feel responsible to you for some kind of relevant commentary yet at the same time it is primarily for myself that I blog in the first place. It's an odd dichotomy.

This year, I hope to bring more useful information to you. I want to continue to focus on my families progression to a more self sufficient and sustainable life, and share with you our experiences growing food and raising our backyard poultry. I'll of course document all of my DIY efforts and creative re-purposing and hope to be able to branch out into some more traditional forms of publishing. (i.e. print media.)

I hope those of you that have been with me for most of this last year will keep stopping by, and invite those of you who may have just found me to lurk around a while if you like, or better yet, drop me line with a comment or question and let's get some dialogue going. So that said, Here's to a great first year and, hopefully, many more!

P~

Permaculture

My wife asked me the other day about permaculture. I have only an basic knowledge of it, but I think that I agree with it's principles to a very great degree.
I cannot accept that all the things put on this earth, were put here to exists by themselves. We are, humans, plants, animals and earth, meant to interact and depend on each other. I believe that when we look at the environment that we live in, whatever that may be, there is some way that we can learn to harmonize with it. I guess that's what a lot of the things that I am curious about really come down to, learning a way of being responsible for myself and my families happiness, while not taking away from something elses. Growing a garden for instance, provides us with food and, I believe, a better standard of living. But my doing that doesn't take away from my neighbors happiness or standard of living, rather I hope it adds to it. It opens dialogue between us through backyard talks about what's working or what we're trying, encourages community through sharing the fruits of our labors and, I believe, generally adds to the neighborhood. It also provides a healthy ecosystem right in my yard where bees, lady bugs and other benefitial insects can thrive; and that's just gardening. I guess Permaculture as I understand it is not only a method for building sustainable, permanent agriculture, it's a idea about how to build permanent culture, cummunity and a way of thinking about our actions.

While I was reading on this tonight, I found a very interesting video on a project that was done in the middle east. They were able effectively de-salinate and re-hydrate the ground and begin producing edible crops in an area previously written off.
http://www.youtube.com/user/permascience

Enjoy, and share your thoughts if you like.
P~

Pakistan; searching for happiness?

After I posted my first installment to “The Algebra of Happiness” I basically heard, and not to my surprise mind you, crickets chirping in the silence that was the reaction to it. I didn’t really expect any comments on it, and have not to date received any. No biggie. I was surprised to find that I was linked to from a blog called the “History of Math” which seems to be some posted by some sort of auto-feed or something, since it linked to it almost immediately. But other than a couple of people reading hitting the page merely as my latest entry, nothing. Then this morning I checked my stats and looked to see where my visitors were coming from. I was surprised to find an inordinate number of hits from different areas of Pakistan. The IP’s are different and the cities of origin are different, but they all seem to be searching Google for “happiness based solely on contentment.” And there I was. Strangely, the few other direct hits I had had to this post were also based out of India; Pakistan’s neighbor to the south. Coincidence?
Is there a search going on for Happiness, or at least the components of it, in Pakistan and India? Could I bring clarity on the ever elusive idea to a people struggling with poverty and unhappiness? To the former, I am sure there is; aren’t we all searching for it? To the latter; I’m not that full of myself, although if my thoughts do relate to someone out there I‘d love to here from them. Never mind the language barrier, you do your best to communicate, I will do my best to understand. Of course there also the possibility that I'm just the victim of a internet spider and I'll soon be spammed into oblivion. Who knows?

On a secondary note, after posting my initial Theorem on Contentment, I Googled the topic "The Algebra of Happiness" and was dejected to find that I was not the first to coin the phrase. I glanced briefly at the posts that I found to see if they were in fact related and they seem to be. I have not read them yet, as I don’t want to have my thought process altered, but I will go back and review them for similarities after I've finished publishing mine. It should be interesting; the link I found was referencing a research project by a group of British mathematicians. P~

The Algebra of Happiness - Contentment Theorem

I know what your thinking, "Algebra and happiness in the same title, not possible!" bear with me you might find it interesting. I have to preface this whole series of articles with a short explanation of why I think about things this way, other than of course the fact that I am a computer programmer and that's just the way we're wired. When I began High School I had a terrible time with Algebra. Like so many other kids I asked what's the point, I've never needed to add an "A" and a "B", and it doesn't even make sense. The Answers are still questions. if A+B=C and A+D=C then B = D. What the heck do either of them equal? They're still letters? I'm sure you can understand. My dad, whom I rarely listened to because I was a teenager and knew everything, caught me at a rare moment of attention and gave me this idea, that saved not only my algebraic High School career, but has influenced how I look at and solve problems throughout my life.

"Algebra has nothing to do with math. It's just a way of thinking and ordering your thoughts."

What? Nothing to do with math? What do you mean nothing to do with math?
Well, think about it like this:
If you have $2.00 and I give you some money, and then you have $5.00, OR
if you have $2.00 and someone else gives you some money, and then you have $5.00 you know that the amounts of money that either that someone else or I gave you were the same; $3.00. That's all A+B=C and A+D=C then B = D really means. We just never think about writing it out like that; we just know it. Once I learned that this was all that algebra was I never had a big problem with it and now I think things through like this all the time. That brings me to the Algebra of Happiness. I wondered if there were a way that I could illustrate very clearly the things that I see as affecting a persons level of happiness. I'll break it down into a couple of sections, and they'll all have this title, so if you see it coming and you’re not interested, I'll see you the next time I'm baking bread or experimenting with homemade yogurt.

The contentment theorem:
-(w) + g = C
Where
'w' represents wants.
'g' represents gains or gets.
'C' represents contentment.

The variable 'w' will always be expressed as negative, denoting an absence or void, while 'g' will be expressed as positive to show increase or gain. A persons level of contentment 'C' can therefore be either neutral (most likely), positive or negative as a product of wants + gains. I would say typically that 'C' would be equal to zero, a neutral result, for a generally happy person; in other words the individual has had all wants met by an equal gain (i.e. -(4) + 4 = 0 ), whereas a typically unhappy person may be one that had very few of their wants met and therefore had a negative level of contentment. (i.e. -(4) + 1 = -3 ). The interesting part in thinking about it like this is that you realize that you can impact your level of contentment directly in one of two ways. You can either decrease your wants with relation to your gains, or you can increase your gains to meet your wants. Let's look at those ideas for a minute.

Decreasing want. (w)
How this affects the equation is dependant on how you decrease it. If you just say to yourself “It’s not realistic.” and resign yourself to the fact that you’ll never attain it, then you would cause an impact on another area; Serenity. (I’ll write more on this in a later post.) Doing that is like deciding that you’ll never be happy and there’s nothing that you can do about it. However, if you reevaluate what you “want” and determine why it is that you want it, you may find that there is no valid reason for it to begin with. I think the most important thing is to "want" things that will bring something else positive to you other than just the getting.

Increasing gain. (g)
I think that this area is not entirely dependant on physical possession or attainment. If one truly believes that the gain will be made in the foreseeable future it is seemingly equivalent to actually having it. For instance, if I wanted a new car but didn’t have it I may feel a lower “C” level. However, if I have in place a plan to achieve that gain, and am making progress toward it, I accept it as a gain not yet tangible; thus not impacting my “C”. Another possibility is that you could decide to work harder, or do whatever necessary to attain the things that you want. This could increase contentment, but it also could impact Serenity if all you did was work and toil in order to attain. If wants are in line, this shouldn't need to be increased too much to attain any thing we desire.

I've been through times when I was very discontent because of the things I didn’t have. I did whatever I could, using credit, or borrowing, or living on shoestrings to get the things but I found that as long as I attached my wants to "things" that there was always another “thing” out there to want. Essentially I was in a squirrel cage of consumption. I wasn’t happy in many other ways in my life, and I guess I thought the next thing would make it better. All I got was a bankruptcy, a repo’d car, and a credit score that I could count on my fingers; my “C”ontentment was very low. Lately, my equation has shifted. I still want of course. I just think that my wants have changed. I want to spend time with my family and for my wife to be able to be home for my children. I want to write and share my thoughts. I want to learn to grow food and make things by hand. I want things too; books, seeds for my garden, and god knows how many other little things I see. But the things I want are readily attainable, and you know what? My contentment is sky high.
I hope I haven't lost you in my prattling on. I get these ideas and they’ll just drive me crazy until I get them out. I have quite a bit more to say on it, so bear with me.
Till next time
P~

What's you favorite Holiday.

I've been getting this question from my kids lately. I don't know why exactly, but I have. The strangest part is that I never really thought about it. I didn't have an answer, and if you know me at all you know that is just not right. Heck even when I don't really have an answer I come up with something. But this caught me off guard.

I suppose they were looking for me to say Christmas, that's their favorite after all; and I'd probably have to say it was mine too when I was their age. I do like Christmas, don't get me wrong, I guess I've just gotten a little to pessimistic for my own good in the last few years. I enjoy the time we spend together, and I love the traditions that we've built as a family. We get a big 1000 piece puzzle every year and take turns working on it with each other while we listen to our favorite Christmas music. My wife and I construct gingerbread houses for our boys to decorate together and we snack on caramel popcorn balls and divinity candy, and every year I try to make something by hand for the kids then hide it somewhere in the tree for them to find. It's when I leave the house or listen to the radio or TV that I get so frustrated. The only things we hear about are what we want, or what we should want. We're pummeled from the end of September with specials and sales and ads to "celebrate the season right."
I watched "The grinch who stole Christmas" with the family tonight and it made me think. At the end of the show, what is it that makes his heart grow three sizes? Anyone? Anyone?

"He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"

He learned that Christmas is more than just stuff. He joined in the celebration and reveled in the giving. I guess I do like Christmas more that I let on, I just need to remember what it is about and keep my focus on the things that make it a special time. Family, friends, tradition and giving. Seeing the smiles on the kids faces, and enjoying the celebrations with friends.

A parting note:
Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand.

I know it's a bit early for Christmas posts, but December is right around the corner, and I guess this is as good a time as any to get in the spirit!

P~

Ahhhhhh

What a great Thanksgiving! We spent out Thursday giving, and our Friday thanking and eating! We cooked a beautiful turkey, and of course all the appropriate trimmings. I'm going to pass on my secret turkey cooking technique now. Stuff under the skin. I make a slightly wetter than normal stuffing, slide my hand between the breast and the skin, and fill the resulting space with the stuffing. 8 yrs ago, when my wife and I were having our first thanksgiving dinner we decided that we wanted to come up with a recipe for turkey that we could make a tradition, this was what we came up with and we have loved it ever since. This is my one real contribution to the thanksgiving feast, I am the turkeymeister!

A~ set a beautiful table for us as you can see. She makes all the holidays special for us with her decorating and enthusiasm.

As for our actual Thanksgiving day, this is where we spent it. This is the Marshall White community center in Ogden UT. It's the nearest center of it's kind to us, and it's where we have gone for thanksgiving to help out and serve a meal every other year.

We had an opportunity to experience a different perspective this year. It happened while we were off the active serving line, and were helping some of the elderly or disabled to get their meals. A~ looked up and poked me to draw my attention to someone in the line. It was our old neighbors. As I said before, We began to do this little bit of service as a sort of thanks of our own for our blessings and after having come through a particularly rough period in our life together. It was strange to see someone that had been in so similar a place as us at one point, obviously worse off. She was with her kids, and after she seemed to notice us there, she looked down and didn't seem to want to be seen. We respected this, and continued as though nothing had changed. It stuck with me though, and made my thanks the next day even greater.

I'm glad to hear that everyone had a good thanksgiving, I hope we can all try to keep the spirit of thanks in our hearts much longer than just the weekend.

P~

Turn Off, Tune Out, Be Happy (Today)

Well here we are, Today. What did I learn? How has is benefited me?



Today:

Well, today I think I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life. I was never truly miserable mind you; after all I have a beautiful wife and children, a new home in a good neighborhood, and a challenging job with people I like to be around. Today however, I am focusing on those things and on the positive, possible things in my life. I feel challenged by myself to think and learn and grow. My health is better and I’ve lost nearly thirty pounds with no dieting, just a more healthy diet and active living. I have built a small but loyal group of readers and friends that I enjoy chatting and learning with. I’ve also learned that what I consume can truly have an impact on my happiness. More does not mean happier and easier does not mean better. Spending time and work to grow a garden really does make for a better salad, and the time it takes to bake really does make better bread. Of course we need things, I am realistic after all. It’s the pursuit of things as a goal in themselves that I’m talking about. There are so many people out there that are not able to have some of the basic things like shelter, clothing or regular meals; perhaps instead of throwing out that “old” coat we could donate it to someone who needs it. Few things increase our appreciation of our blessings and of the things we have, thereby increasing our happiness, like sharing with others. Slowing down and simplifying our lives can bring us so much fulfillment it’s hard to quantify it. I hope I’ve been able to shed a little light on my own journey and that perhaps it will help some of you to reflect on yours. I leave you with this…



Happiness is being where you are,

Take stock what you have and appreciate it,

Focus on the good and the possible in your world, and how you can increase it,

Slow down, participate in life and stay challenged.


Namaste
P~

TurnOff, Tune Out, Be Happy (Recovery)

Yesterday I told you about how I found my self becoming unhappy. It wasn't something that I was conscious of, it just came on me. I was lucky enough that the same fates that brought me to this point, presented me the opportunity to change my course.



The Recovery:
When earlier this year I started to blog, one of my primary reasons, honestly, was to have a place where I could rant about all of the things that I was so angry about. I had things to say about politics, world issues and the downfall of society… you know real happy stuff. I found that it was much harder for me to make the time to actually sit down and write out my opinions when they came from anger than I had expected. I’ve always enjoyed writing and it’s also always been something that’s been able to help me organize my thoughts. When I write I have the opportunity to look back and read what I’ve said. It gives me perspective on what I’m trying to convey rather than just spitting it out. I guess reading my own words helped put in perspective how I was thinking. After realizing that there were so many wonderful blogs out there dealing with things that I was passionate and interested in like gardening, homesteading and alternative energy for example, I began to focus more on these things. I began to find my voice again and it was a positive one. I moved to Blogspot as my host in roughly April, and adopted the title “A Posse Ad Esse” or “From Possibility to Reality”, in order to remind me to focus on the possible in life. Not long after I moved the blog, my wife and I also made the decision to cancel our cable subscription for the summer since we would be gone for 3 weeks on vacation and saw no reason to pay for it. These two things, vacation and cancelling cable, combined to thrust me into a cold turkey withdrawal from the news and a strange thing happened; I was happier. I wasn’t walking around with a perma-grin on my face or anything like that, but I was certainly happier. I decided to explore this further and began to earnestly avoid the things that I found causing me unhappiness. I found that even the local news became a mental drain as nothing makes the news like death, misery and misfortune, of course they’ll always throw you that little fluff piece at the end to leave you feeling good so you’ll come back again tomorrow. I made the decision to tune-out of the talk radio and listen to music again and found that I arrived home with a smile more often, and was in a better mood overall. I decided that I may never be able to get the small hobby farm I dreamt of (the dream persists, but not at the expense of today.); but I do have a beautiful home on a ¼ of an acre that I wasn’t making the most of as it was. I began to spend my time in the yard as though I were on my farm. I planned and worked it, composting and tending. My obsession with what I didn’t have became one of gratitude for what I did. I took part in a “Low Impact Week” challenge put on by another blogger that encouraged me to try a new way of daily life. I began to ride my bike to work, consume less, and eat a more local and primarily vegetarian diet. My wife and I began to wean ourselves off of chemical cleaners and started using home made natural ones. All these things, each one small in on its own, began to move me towards a more simple way of living. I began to feel more in tune with my community, and more connected to what I was doing. I was thinking again.


As you can see, making decisions and taking action, combined with focusing on the positive things in life and a little lucky opportunity helped me to dig myself out of the mire. We can all do it, life is a choice. Tomorrow, the last installment, Today.



P~

Turn Off, Tune Out, Be Happy (The Descent)

“My name is P~ and I’m a recovering pessimist”, that’s how I ought to introduce myself. I know this sounds silly on the surface, but really it’s not, it’s the truth. I was fortunate enough this year to have a number of events come together and enough clarity to make some decisions that have opened a door for me to more happiness than I even realized I was missing. I’ll start at the beginning, as I see it, of a slow and creeping descent into gloom and unhappiness. I didn’t realize it was this at first, but as I reflected on it, it became obvious to me.

The Descent:
After September 11th I, like so many others, began to check in on the news regularly to see what was going on, if there were any developments in the investigation or any survivors found. This was the gateway event so to speak. Soon after, I found talk radio. I knew it existed of course, but had never really listened to it regularly. I started tuning in during the mornings to see if anything new was happening and to get the latest from the day and evening prior. Those morning tune-ins turned to all day listening and before I knew it I had it on during the drive to and from work, on the garage radio, while I worked outside, pretty much constantly. On top of this I would watch the different cable news outlets at night, and would actually TIVO some of the opinion shows that I didn’t have time for. I found that even though each host, whether on radio or television, had a slightly different way they would put the info across it was still really just the same information. I also found myself parroting the positions of many of the hosts, even when I didn’t fully agree, because I did agree with part of it. I substituted thinking for listening, a dangerous proposition; can you say mind control? Now that I was fully addicted to the hard stuff and binging all day long, the inevitable symptoms that follow any addiction followed. Need, paranoia, anxiety, anger, you name it. Really, I’m not exaggerating. I needed it and felt like I was going to miss some crucial event if I wasn’t tuned in. I started getting angry at the opposing side, many of whose positions I still disagree with mind you, but I took it too far I think; badmouthing different positions and not even spending the time to familiarize myself with them. Finally I found myself feeling afraid, almost paranoid, of “The things that were going to happen”. I do think that there are a lot of things to be concerned with, peak oil, food/water shortages and wars for example, but I was obsessing on them. There were other things causing me unhappiness as well. I’ve wanted to be in a place where I could have more land to work. I’ve often dreamt of “returning to the land” so to speak but reality and circumstances seem conspired against this. I would actually find myself feeling incredibly depressed at times and not wanting to do anything because I was focusing on this thing that I never felt I would ever be able to have. Things in general for that matter were a cause of despair. Why can’t I have this or that when I want it so badly? Life isn’t fair is it? I’ve written before about happiness; about “being where you are” and not focusing on where you wish you were and I believe that to be one of the best pieces of advice I could give on the subject. What I didn’t realize however, was exactly how much my consumption could be tied to it. I had become stuck in a rut of consuming dire news, disdainful views, and lofty wants that were continually letting me down. The more I focused on what would make me happy if I had it, or how things should be, the more discontent I was with what I had and how things were.

At this point I was pretty low. I felt full of fear, and discontent. I know my sweet wife worried about me and ask if everything was OK. I didn't to be like this, it just crept up on me. Tomorrow I'll tell you about The Recovery.

Till tomorrow.

P~

Skansen and thank you's

I was born in Umeå Sweden and grew up in California. When I was nine, my parents put me on a plane and sent me back there to get to know my family. When I got there my Mom had arranged to have a good friend U~, pick me up at the airport and show me around for a day or two, it's been 27 yrs the details are a little foggy. One thing I do remember was the trip she took me on to a place called Skansen. It is a living museum in Stockholm that shows how the Swedish people lived throughout history. I remember glass blowers, and timber frame barns, and all of the crafts and architecture. There are all things that are all near and dear to me even now.

I've said before that early on I began to be interested in old ways for lack of a better word. Well, if I had only a cursory interest in it prior to nine, then after Skansen I was enamoured. The home in the picture is one that has been in my head for most of my life. I had never seen a home with grass on the roof, and it wasn't until recently that I learned how efficient they are. All I know is that it felt so comfortable to me; like I had grown up there. Being as I was nine, I don't know if I ever took the time to let U~ know how much I appreciate her taking the time to do show me around, and unwittingly as it may have been, shaping a young mind. I talked with Mom tonight and she told me that when U~ was out recently visiting her, she gave her the address for my blog. So U~ (I assume you know who you are, I never use full names here, it's a silly little thing I do.) thank you so much, I hope you'll come here and check in on me once and a while, and if you click the link below the post where it says "_ comments", you can leave me a note.
Strange how life puts things in front of you that are just meant to be there isn't it?
Namaste~

Sad to say we're back.

This is where we were...I'm sad to say it, but we're back. I am of course glad to be back home, but this was a really relaxing little jaunt. This cute little red cabin is the one that we stayed in while up in the mountains. I can't say enough about this place, The accomodations were absolutely top notch! Clean and modern while not making you feel like you were just staying in a hotel that happened to be in the woods; very cabinee for lack of a better word. Bonnie and Pat were the camp hosts, and were great. They explained everything to us, showed us a couple of the other cabins that were available, let us look at the one we're gonna have for October, and told us about a couple of nice little hikes from the camp.

On Friday morning the boys and I grabbed the fishing gear, camera and a little adventurous spirit and headed out to Lyman Lake. This is little Lyman, it's neighbor. We fished a little, and got skunked, actually we fished a very little so I don't feel too bad about it. The lake was beautiful, but was surrounded by about 15 ft of thick grasses, and we couldn't really find a good spot to fish from. We were lucky on the trip to and from the lake to get to see what we counted were 7 or 8 deer. (The count differs depending on which boy you asked.) We snapped a piture of this little guy munching a late breakfast not far from the road. He was with a doe who is not in the picture. All together this trip we counted about 12-14 deer and somthing like 4 or 5 of them were bucks. Which is actually pretty darn good considering most of them were seen from the road just casually glancing around. There are definitely deer in them thar hills, I think it should be an interesting hunt this year. (Did you hear that dad!)

That afternoon we took a drive up one of the local four wheel trails and found a beautiful meadow with a pond and wild flowers.
Oh, the wild flowers, I can't leave them out. I was shocked to see that there were so many of them. This is the last weekend of July, and we haven't had a lot of rain (Although it did rain a little each night that we were there.) so I was happy to see them. I am a bit of a flower geek I guess, I could take a whole disk full of flower picture, I just love them. This is the pond and the meadow area that I was talking about. I loved the way this old trunk was slowly becoming a part of the lake. This whole area had been burned about 5 yrs ago I think (It was burned, but I'm not sure on the dates.) and everything was coming back to life. There were new trees poking up, and wildflowers flourished on the rich burn compost that was everywhere. I had to think to myself that Mother nature really does know what she's doing! On the way up and back down the canyon, we were playing dodge the sheep. One of the things that you get used to in Utah when you go up into the mountains is that there will be sheep in your way at some point. This herd (or is it a flock? Anyone, anyone?) was the biggest one I've come across yet. Whenever I see them in the mountains though, I always think about my grandfather Dan. He was a sheep herder in the Colorado Mountians when my dad was born. I always remember a picture that I have of him sitting on a big horse with his hat and chaps. That will always be my image of a cowboy! Everyone tells me how much I am like him; that he loved to have his hands in the ground, and be outdoors. I'm glad he passed those things to me.


This morning, Saturday, we cleaned up around camp and got ready to go, then took a couple hour hike up the canon to a place the Bonnie and Pat had told us about. The beaver dams. I kind of slapped two of them together here to make it easier for you to see. Really though, it does no justice to the work these guys have done. we hiked up past three dams that were all I'd say 20-30 yards across and between 5 and 8 feet high. I have seen beaver on the rivers here before, but I have never been able to see their masterpieces in person. If you are at all interested in architecture, these are a feat to behold.

We finally had to leave, and come on down into the heat again, but we did make one more quick pit stop on the way; Devils Slide. Devils slide is one of those places that you drive by a hundred times, but always say, "Eh, we'll stop next time." We stopped this time. Mind you it's a formation of differing types of limestone, so it's not gonna make it to the wonders of the world list, but hey, the kids thought it was cool and got the railroad conductor on the passing train to whistle at them, so the stop was worth it. I am glad to be back, but I can't say I'm not looking forward to our next trip there. I think I even managed to get permission to go fishing myself tomorrow. Yeah I know all you ladies reading this are laughing, I said permission.

Hope you all had a great weekend few days and I'll talk to you later.
P~

Sweet Summer Rain

Tonight we were all outside doing our things. A~ was walking the dog around the yard, I was cutting some old rebar up to use in the garden and the kids were busy using my old scrap wood pile to build the deck of what they say will be their skateboard ramp. The sky began to cloud over slowly and we talked about how unusually humid it was, then drip... drip... drop, it started. Slowly at first and then more; building to a constant sprinkle. Then the skies opened and it rained for about 15 min. That's all, 15 min, maybe not even that. It was glorious. A~ and I stood under our gazebo and let it diffuse the nickle size drops into a cool mist that settled on us till we were somewhere between damp and soaked. As the rain slowed and then stopped the clouds parted just enough for the setting sun to shine through in solid beams like heaven itself was peeking in our day. I looked over to our mountains to see them seeming to stretch themselves even closer to the clouds as if they were trying to catch every last drop of the cool rain. Between them and I was a double rainbow, full in it's glory from one end of the valley to the other.
I have of course had days like this before, but I wanted to remember it, and to share it with you. A picture would have been nice, but you know sometimes words can be more powerful don't you think? If I had taken a picture that would've been it, no imagination. I hope you all had a great day as well. Till tomorrow.
P~

Thought for today

...I find more joy in the rich, messy, and unexpected complexity that is the world.
-Eva, comment on No Impact Man

9,10,12,14 going on 10,11,13,15

Well, todays my birthday. Not that it really makes a huge difference in the greater scope of things. Although now my kids feel the need for a few days to call me "Old Man" and my wife get's to giggle that I'm on the "downhill side of thirty" now. So what big plans do I have for the day? Not a whole lot to tell you the truth. We went out to dinner with my Dad who was out visiting last night, and I'll probably go out to lunch today witht the guys from the office, but that's really about it. (yeah, the ole' healthy eating things been put on hold for 24 hours.) I think about when I was a kid, or any of us were kids for that matter, and remember what birthdays were like. Remember how excited we would get? I know that for me I was counting days till the next one, telling everyone I was NOT 10 I was "10 and eight months", and I'll be driving before you know it... well you get the point. I can't remember when it stopped, the exceitment that is, can you? It wasn't sixteen, because your still in high school and can't vote or anything yet so you have eighteen to look forward to. It wasn't eighteen, because you still have twenty-one to look forward to. (Come on, really, everyone looks forward to 21 right?). And I can't even say the twenty-one was the age it stopped, because then you have really good birthday parties to look forward to. I guess for me the age was twenty-five. Why 25 you ask? What happened, you suddenly matured in the blink of an eye and all things childish and immature such as birthdays and parties and the like lost their fascination? I think any one that knew me at twenty-five will earnestly tell you I did not suddenly mature, or that I have yet for that matter. No, I think it was twenty-five because that's the age when my oldest son started realizing that he had birthdays, and that they were good, great even, and he was now not just three, but three going on four. At that time, my focus shifted, the important birthdays were not mine anymore, they were my childrens. After a few more years of reflection I can see that that's the reason why I looked forward to birthdays so much when I was a kid. Sure, presents were always great, but your parents and your family now focused on you. You were the star. You picked the dinner, you got the songs, and gifts. Whatever the tradition, you were at the center of it. Now that I am in "their shoes" I can see how much effort my parents put into my birthdays, and understand why. It was purely selfish; they got greater joy out of watching their kids birthdays than watching their own. Now so do I. So today I'm not just 36, I'm 9,10,12,14 going on 10,11,13,15.
Happy Birthday P~