Welcome All! I'm a dreamer, I hope you are too! A Posse ad Esse, or From possibility to reality, is a general state of mind. I hope you'll share your possibilities with me as I will with you. Namaste~

March 20, 2007

Children ??

I’ve been thinking today about my children. They are truly a blessing in my life. I know a few couples that have decided definitively not to have children, and some others that “plan” to but never seem to feel like they’re ready for them. I feel the need to pontificate on this topic, bear with me.
As I’ve said, I feel blessed to be able to have the children that I have. I currently have a very good relationship with three of my boys; my divorce from the mother of my oldest son has presented some significant road blocks to having one with him, but we do the best that we can. For the record, the road blocks are not all her fault. As his father there are a lot of things I could, or perhaps should, have done better. I point this out for the sole purpose of tempering my point of view. I can come off a bit “know it allish”.
I am somewhat torn on the idea of people not wanting to have children at all. One part of me thinks, “What’s wrong with you? How could you not want to?” while the other part argues back with,” You know, if someone doesn’t really want kids it’s better for them to not have any, than to do it out of some societal obligation.” I guess this is the point where I have to ask the follow up question “what is the reason for not wanting to have them?” I think it really just comes down to just three possible answers;

• I don’t like kids and I don’t want them
• I don’t want kids because they’ll get in the way of my goals, my social life
and the things I want to do
• I feel that the world/earth is in trouble and I can’t see bringing children into a place like this.

The first argument I can deal with. If someone just doesn’t like kids, I guess they have the right to choose not to bring any into the world. However, I think many people that don’t like them have either been the repeated victims of neglectful parents (i.e. the screaming kid in a restaurant, kids running up and down the movie theater isles, etc.) or really fall into the second group. This argument is propbably becoming more and more common these days, as so many kids are being raised by a day care, or Mtv and never get a chance to learn good social habits.
The second argument I think is the best reason to not have any children; it is honest and takes a good bit of guts to admit. Again, I think most fall into this category but don’t have the gumption to admit it.
Now the third argument; this is the one I balk at. If we accept the premise that the world/earth is in trouble; whether that be from impending drastic climate change, wars, or geo-political unrest (BTW I don’t subscribe to any of these, but to play Advocatus diaboli…) then I would argue that we have a duty to try to change that course. I’ll deal with this in the next installment of this thread.
-To Be Continued

No comments: